perfect for Hoylake’s brand of fast, free-flowing attacking rugby. Even illness didn’t stop some of the kids turning up to play against many of their school chums – well done Reece!
Everything started to plan with Hoylake racing into a two try lead thanks to the super speedy Joe who outpaced the larger, heavier looking Caldy team; both times seemingly from nothing! It looked like Hoylake would extend their lead with Sam charging for the line like a mini Billy Vunipola before the referee decided that running without your gumshield firmly in place was illegal and penalised the bemused looking Sam! The rest of the half was spent with backs against the wall as Caldy started to bring their superior rucking and mauling game to the fore. Hoylake’s grim defence held out thanks to some incredible tackling from Rudi and James but it wasn’t long before pressure turned to tries and Caldy pegged Hoylake back with two tries of their own.
At half time there was a chance for Kev, James and Si to remind the boys what they were doing well (defending) and what they needed to work on (putting Caldy under more pressure by running up to meet their attacks rather than wait for Caldy to come to them). Sadly the second half was one of Hoylake frustration. The Hoylake faithful were in full voice and enjoying the rugby on show in the warm winter sunshine but it wasn’t enough to lift the boys who were ponderous at the breakdown and lacking the teamwork that has been a feature of their play in recent games. Consequently Caldy turned over lots of ball at ruck-time by simply being hungrier for the ball and any possession Hoylake had was on the back foot leading to errors and passes going astray. Nevertheless, an entertaining second half was enjoyed by all but probably mostly by Caldy who scored 4 unanswered tries meaning the game ended with Caldy taking the spoils 6 – 2.
At this point, in the old days, this grizzled old hack would have turned to the John Player Specials and a whisky to beat back the gloomy feeling of a story not going to plan but my specialist says St. John’s Wort is the nearest I can go to anything enjoyable. So a handful of supplements washed down with a mouthful of water and I was ready for the next game. I checked the label on my bottle (hypericum perforatum – mmm seems right) because I had the feeling I had travelled back 20 minutes and was reliving the first game all over again. Hoylake were as polite as an obsequious Stephen Fry at the breakdown, allowing any loose balls to be collected by the hungrier Caldy players whilst the Hoylake boys stood back and allowed pressure to build. Any ball that Hoylake secured saw one player at a time attempt to beat the whole team before being hauled down and often coughing up the ball. The cries of “pass it” rang loud from the touchline but Hoylake continued to labour in attack. Again strong and determined defence kept the black and gold tide at bay but inevitably a try was conceded after so much pressure. Then a moment of joy as Charlie, deep in Hoylake’s half, pounced on a ball at a ruck, turned it over like a terrier fetching a rabbit from a hole and the ball ended up in James’s capable hands. He beat several defenders with strength and then allowed his pace to take him clear of the covering tacklers to score a valuable try and even up the game at half time.

The vein in Kev’s neck looked dangerously livid as he delivered the half time team talk to encourage a bit more “dog” and fight into the youngsters – this was Caldy after all! And there was improvement in that department but sadly the “rings of steel” seemed to have rusted as tackles started to go missing although George certainly wasn’t guilty of that as he tackled like a Haskell-shaped demon. However, despite George’s efforts Caldy ran in 5 tries (can you type through gritted teeth?!). The highlights of the half were another fantastic try by Joe whose searing pace is almost impossible to defend against and James’s try saving tackle. But the final score saw Caldy deserved winners by 6 tries to 2. Again.
Typically the Hoylake youngsters were unbowed and wanted another crack at Caldy. So another squad of Caldy players was delivered from their conveyor belt to face up to what was left of Hoylake’s band of happy boys for a third game. Which started in subdued fashion after the breathless pace of the first two games. It wasn’t long before the fresh legs of Caldy found their rhythm but Hoylake were more than a match for them. Some good work from Archie and Reece took the ball deep into Caldy territory before Charlie crossed the line and eventually dotted down before he ran out of pitch! This seemed to spur Caldy into raising their game a bit more and some good running and passing saw a Caldy player cross the line to score but incredibly James managed to somehow rip the ball from the Caldy player’s arms and prevent a try! As the bright warm sun started to hide behind the clouds and turn the air bitterly cold, I could feel my spirits lift – would this be the turning point and see Hoylake beat their fierce rivals? The next few minutes would be crucial and then, like a bolt of sun piercing the dark clouds gathering overhead, Joe produced the moment of the morning. He collected the ball from his own try line and hared down the far touchline like a scrum-capped whippet. With the final defender to beat Joe stepped off each foot in turn to produce an “in-out” movement that tied the hapless Caldy player into a knot that will take him until Wednesday from which to untangle himself. And so Joe scored a try that will live long in what is left of my frazzled, gin-soaked memory to take Hoylake 2 tries to the good as the half time whistle blew.
The second half began as the temperature started to slide and so too did Hoylake’s energy. A long hard morning’s rugby was nearly at an end but with ten minutes to hold a slender lead and finish victorious; would they do it? Well dear reader, at times it was like Custar’s last stand and at times I had to watch the game with my notebook in front of my eyes and a slender Paper Mate in each ear. Caldy were limited to 2 terrific tries without a reply from Hoylake but it took not one but two heroic try-saving tackles from James to prevent Caldy from winning the game.
So the final match finished 2 – 2 and as tired boys and freezing mums, dad’s, grandparents, brothers and sisters trooped up to the clubhouse to join the longest queue in the western world for a warming cuppa, it seemed all too much for James’s little cousin who had fallen asleep on a tacklebag!